Monday, July 31, 2006

songs in my head

I almost always have a song playing in my head. Is this normal? I get very tired of the songs sometimes, and it's often the same ones - like my mental jukebox has only a dozen or so choices. I've been this way for as long as I can remember. I doubt the jukebox was there when I was a child, but I don't remember any kind of sudden onset.

This morning it's a pop song. "Don't think - I know what you're saying. I can't stop this feeling. Don't tell me 'cause it hurts" (something like that). It's annoying when the song is playing over and over all day and I still don't know the words!

When I have one song playing it's hard to think about or remember the other songs in the list. But I can tell you that in the last few months the jukebox has added a children's section: electronic versions of "Camptown Races," "Pop Goes the Weasel," and "Mary Had a Little Lamb".

I understand why those tunes are in my head. I hear them a lot. These other songs from the radio appear from nowhere - I don't have to have heard them recently. I often wake up with them, and they play for a day or two. I wonder if they contain messages from or to my subconscious. I wonder if it's the fillings in my teeth picking up a radio signal while I sleep! I wonder if there's something about particular melodies that makes them stick. It's never my favorite songs. Sometimes it's commercials.

They're hard to get rid of. But it seems like calling attention to the song helps it fade. Like talking about what you dreamed. By the way, after watching "24" (on dvd) last night, I dreamed that I kidnapped a 12 year old boy for his own safety. I played Irish music for him while we were in transit, thinking it would make him feel safe (???). Then when I took the tape off his mouth I asked him if he liked Irish music. He said it's okay but what he really liked was "cultural rock," and he excitedly reeled off a list of bands from past and present (the only one I remember is Yes).

I think that's a term my brain made up, "cultural rock". I don't think that's a real genre of music - is it? Maybe that's what this mental radio station plays!

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