hi

My days (my hours) are still up and down, but after getting immersed in the discussion forums online about breast cancer over the last few days, I feel incredibly lucky. What's 3 surgeries and (possibly) some radiation compared to having it in your bones and saying goodbye to your children???? At the same time as reading all this makes me feel lucky, it also makes me feel more frightened about it coming back or them finding invasive cancer when they do the mastectomy. But we'll just cross the bridges as we reach them, I guess.

Yesterday I decided to have the genetic testing. They know about two genes that, when working normally, suppress the growth of tumors in the breast. A defect on one of those genes accounts for 85% of all hereditary breast cancers. But only 10% of breast cancers are hereditary. The gene can be passed by the father or the mother. They recommended genetic testing because I'm really young to get this cancer, even though we only know of two distant relatives who've had it. Nice to be called "really young" now and then! :)

I love E so much I think I'll explode.

She says many cute things that I can't figure out how to convey in writing. One of them is when she's looking for something she'll hold her hands out at shoulder height, palms up, and say "I've looked EV-wy-where!"

Last night I had been instructing her to share her toys with B, who's a bit younger than her and was coming to visit in a few minutes. She agreed to it by saying, "Mine not get 'em." I was puzzled and then she said, "Emma not take 'em away." What a sweetie!