weekend rundown

E and I had a great day today, a partly miserable day yesterday.

I woke with a migraine and nausea (Sat.) and when I had a reprieve between bouts of "frowing up" I posted on Facebook how bad I felt. My friend Marie asked if I needed help, and I wrote, "Either that, or lots of praise for being a martyr!" So I shipped E off in Marie's mini-van to go play for the afternoon. Just before Marie got here, as I was telling her the plan, E more or less said that I had "ruined (her) day". She had "planned" to stay home and color with me. I said my day was ruined too, thank you very much. Marie had to carry her away, crying, but of course she was fine and had a grand time. We had both been looking forward to a day of just playing together. So that's what we did today. We got so engrossed in our snowflake-cutting and crocheting that we didn't look at the time until 6:30. I can't believe it but I taught E to finger crochet! She's proud of her "braid". The snowflakes are now decorating the fishtank, along with the Kwanzaa chain E made me.

We went to Friends' Meeting, and the message was about anxiety, "the uninvited guest". I was feeling great then. Well I guess I invited it tonight as I finally sat down to sort out and pay bills. *sheesh* Oh well, I'd put it off long enough, had to do it. And then I looked up the weather report: snow tomorrow and freezing rain all day Tuesday with significant accumulation. I might get to work tomorrow at least for part of the day, but then I'll come home and worry about the power going out. I'll be okay though. I wallow in it for a little while, envision the worst, and then feel ready to go with the flow, rise above it all.

Speaking of anxiety, here's a funny moment: in Harris Teeter grocery store, E stops suddenly in the entry way, looking up. Stomps her foot and puts her hands on her hips, saying "I don't like those cameras being in the store! They're like a Santa camera."

I guess 5 is old enough to feel self-conscious. This is the theme of the last few weeks or months. Funny how a couple years ago E was hailing strangers on the street and now she hates almost any situation where she draws attention. Outside of home, I mean, and maybe preschool. Doesn't want people to look at her. Except me, apparently. It's "Mommy, Look!" every other minute. Today I left the dinner table for a minute and E tracked me down saying I should have told her where I was going - "I thought you had died already!" She was smiling and laughing though - I wasn't sure how seriously to take that. We'll see.