some thoughts in progress

http://blog.ted.com/2007/12/daniel_goleman.php

The video at the above link is 13 minutes long and makes a strong point. The lighting is not good, but it's just a man talking so all you really need to do is listen. He is a famous psychologist speaking at a famous conference on "Why aren't we all Good Samaritans?" I found this at work and had to interrupt my busy (ha ha) day to tell all of you about it. Recently I watched Mr. Moore's documentary about the U.S. healthcare crisis and at the end, through tears, I was thinking (not for the first time) "Why don't we care more about each other in this country?" We don't necessarily have to have "socialized medicine" (horror of horrors): if we simply, as a society, CARED more about what happens to each other, things would have to be at least a little bit better. We don't have to be such a CYOA (cover your own a**) society; but as life has gotten busier and more complicated we have conditioned each other to accept and expect selfish, "not-my-problem" behavior. This speaker relays an example of how our sheep-like tendency to follow the cues of the crowd can cause suffering; but if someone in the crowd takes the initiative and tries to relieve suffering instead, then others are more likely to do so as well.

The main point he makes, which I want to underscore, is that empathy is a natural reaction for humans but we learn to suppress it. He describes research that showed that we are more likely to suppress our impulse to help (or not even notice the need to help) when we are in a hurry or preoccupied with some imminent personal concern. And how often does each of us feel pressed for time?? Though guilty myself, I am convinced that there is social harm in the "busyness" epidemic. Busyness is our way of justifying -- and thereby preserving -- the status quo. It's our socially acceptable excuse for not living the way we know is right.

And I'm not sure how to get out of the trap myself, because most of the things that keep me busy seem to be activities that could potentially make things better in the world. And there is so much suffering in the world that we can get overwhelmed easily, of course, if we don't put some boundaries around our empathy. How can we learn to show more care for others without ending up feeling deprived ourselves? I wonder if we as a society worked harder on all the "deprivation" problems (e.g. hunger, loneliness...), if that would free up more of people's emotional energy and allow us to feel more for others?