help that helps

"People like to be told how they can help," when you're going through something serious. While I'm in treatment plan limbo it feels like there's nothing appropriate to do (it's easier to know what to do when I'm recovering from surgery or whatever, instead of just going about my research). Yet I'm still stressed and you still want to help! Here are some things people have done for me that I really appreciate, in no particular order:

• Sent cards and "thinking of you" notes in the mail, which are all taped up on my kitchen cabinet for the duration.
• Taken walks with me.
• Called to say hi.
• Put their names on my babysitting list.
• Sent emails saying "thinking of you".
• Invited me out for distracting fun.
• Offered to help my research.
• Put me in touch with other survivors they know.
• Hugged me.
• Prayed for me, in their way.
• Cut me some slack at work.

I've also received casseroles and soups and pies and I was just tickled with that! But for now I'd rather save the covered dishes for when I'm recovering (again). I never like to cook anyway, so I'm tempted to say "keep 'em coming!" but the truth is, most normal food I have to eat single-handedly and the fridge can only hold so many perishables. If you want to give my husband and daughter some comfort food, make them cupcakes. The casseroles are for me.

I don't mind everyone knowing what I'm facing. I don't mind being on prayer lists or whatever. Generally I'm not crazy about sharing all the gory details with people I don't know well, but hey, sometimes a wild disclosure mood strikes me and I will pour it all out to some poor soul! Sometimes I want to talk about it and sometimes I don't. I'd rather talk about my feelings than about my "decision". I appreciate people asking before they give me their opinions of what they would do. I haven't had any of the "horror stories" that apparently most people get bombarded with -- so thank you all for being positive. Thank you for following my lead in conversations. I really appreciate being asked "How are you doing today?" even if I don't feel like going into it at length.

I hope this helps :)