lazy day

This was a relatively good day. The weather was NASTY (cold and wet), so E and I didn't go anywhere, didn't even open the door. (David's on his train trip.) It's icing a little now, and snow or ice is predicted overnight. I needed a lazy day, and I think E did too. I know she's been watching too much tv (videos) lately because I've just needed to get things done and to vegetate. Otherwise she can't stand to play by herself when I'm around. But we watch some of it together, and we talk about it all. This morning we watched Wizard of Oz for an hour (I luxuriously read a whole magazine at the same time), played with play-doh for an hour, danced a bit in the kitchen, and didn't do much after that. She is surprisingly happy to just sit and pick fuzz. When I said I wouldn't play with her til she brushed her teeth, she climbed into her crib with a sticker book and stayed there happily by herself for almost an hour. This afternoon I got to have a semi-nap on the couch while she watched another video.

E spent yesterday with Victor just about all day, and he's now sick. She seems okay so far but we all know it's coming - can't avoid it with all this stress. We've both been cranky by 4 pm all this week, definitely feeling the big life change for Mommy.

It's been a busy week. E still goes to preschool Tuesdays and Thursdays and I'm going to use the other sitter as needed. I packed up all my things from the office yesterday. I'm doing some networking and informational interviews last week and this week. I'm hoping to do more writing with all this free time, but this past week I spent it all with friends and family, which is how I cope.

One thing I've managed to learn in my 40 some years is how quiet and subtle stress can be. I used to think it was the same thing as worrying. But you can feel terrible stress without noticing a single worrying thought! My back and neck are aching, and I'm just exhausted. I have a short fuse with 3 year olds in particular. Yet I feel very loved and positive about my future. Interesting.

Well, it sounds like E fell right asleep again at 7. I'm not far behind.