thoughts of an insomniac

I have a routine (and a pill, if needed) that helps me get to sleep at night. What I don't have is something to help me go back to sleep after I wake up in the wee hours. But I do love the BBC radio shows that play all night. They're great company. Make me feel like a citizen of the world.

E and I went to a 2 year old's birthday party yesterday. It was fun and wore her out good. Just 3 toddlers, including the birthday boy. Parents talked a lot about sharing, as the kids are still learning this. It's totally different when it's your own toys on your own turf, much harder to share. E has gotten Victor accustomed to her taking toys from him - he just moves on to the next thing! The other boy wasn't going to put up with it though, and he and E had a few tug of wars. She had a knack for picking the very toy that he suddenly was inclined to play with - practically everything she touched became important and special. But he relaxed a little as the party went on, and his parents were good at distracting him. I was trying to remember when E started to relax on the "mine" phase, and I now remember that half the reason we didn't give her a 2 birthday party was that she was in the throes of it then. (I didn't want to deal with it!) She's still not over it, just more selective about which things she won't share. And she can't understand why others won't share with her.

I suggested her new purple sundress to wear to the party and she agreed it was a good party dress. She said, "Maybe (B, the birthday boy) will like it." That surprised me - is she trying to impress boys already?? Then she said, "B's daddy like it too, and B's mommy like it, and M'rie and Victor and Victor's daddy like it too." I also remembered some comment she made that I didn't quite catch, the other day, about "man going to say I'm beautiful". I decided she's not trying to impress people so much as she's getting used to being admired! I was afraid she was going to arrive at the party and preen, but luckily she had already forgotten and dived right into the toys.

On Friday I took her to the office briefly where people stood around exclaiming over her cuteness, and on Saturday night we went to my office's annual baseball game gathering, where there was more acclaim. So naturally she starts to expect this, at least from adults. I also realized recently, to my personal dismay, that I have already got her thinking that adornment (i.e. accessories) is what makes you "pretty". This stuff really sneaks up on us! Socialization runs deep.