decorations

This photo is a pretty picture made by necklaces spilled onto the floor. E said it's an umbrella. (I wish she still said "rainbrella". She does still say "mushbrow" for mustache.) For several days straight she played with these necklaces, twisting them around her arms and body in various patterns, calling for me to look: "Mommy, I'm all decorated!"

Yesterday while I was in the shower she "decorated" her face, hands, and arms with magic marker.

Tonight we ate at Pizza Hut and she did her exercises beside our table. She is about 2 inches from doing the full splits. Very conscientious little exerciser. Still loves to dance and talk nonsense. I got her a full length mirror. She tells strangers who don't care how good she is at whatever she's doing at the moment, and refuses to speak to people who are crazy about her. Comments on people's activities and appearances (e.g. "That man has big lips!" or "Mommy is that a man?"). Is now hooked on play dates, always asking to go to someone's house or have them come here.

the new me, temporarily

pencils in toes

This was a pretty good weekend despite the PMS. I remembered how a good long walk in good weather can transform your mood. E played with friends both days. Grandma and Grandpa were here Saturday and were shown just about every toy E plays with, in one long running tour-guide narrative.

I'm going to a conference Wed - Friday this week, something arranged before I lost my job. David will be home with E.

These days E loves playing with Play-doh, cutting paper into little pieces, and picking flowers outside. She was proud of herself for learning to climb some fancy park equipment all by herself.

tickling helps

Tonight I saw E trying to hold in her pee again and invited her to sit on the potty. Nothing was happening, but we discovered that tickling helps. This has been a long time coming, and isn't the end, but now at least she knows what it feels like to be successful. I hope I don't forget her little face filled with wonder.

Daddies sleep on couches

Almost all I've seen of David today is him sleeping! He's had 2 naps today, I've had none.

E had a new friend over today and I forgot to take pictures. This girl is 3 and a half and lives across the street.

her idea

last week

a pic from the park last week, you can see where the sidewalk scraped her nose

Today I'm writing a cover letter to apply for a job and drafting a presentation I will give at the end of the month (the content of it is related to my prior job). I have three appointments for various things. So fitting those two projects in between the appointments will make it a full day. Yet the to-do list grows and grows. I'm spending one extra day per week with E so far. I'm getting enough sleep on average, and I've read a book and 3 magazines, so those are the signs I don't have a job anymore. It doesn't feel like loads of free time, but I'm trying to make the most of it.

E's cold is practically gone, just a little cough and stuffiness. We had one night (Saturday) when coughing fits kept her up most of the night, sleeping maybe 30 minutes at a time, at most. Finally got 2 or 3 solid hours when I moved her to the couch and arranged us so that she was sleeping semi-reclined, propped up on me. David came home from his train trip around suppertime Sunday, took us to Old MacDonalds for dinner, and left again Monday morning for Fayetteville.

sick day

E has a fever of about 100, stuffy nose, cough. It's good when Victor has something first so I can know what it is instead of worrying.

Note the red face! She also has a scrape on her nose from stumbling on the sidewalk yesterday, but she wouldn't let me take a picture of it. Note the plastic container, her throw-up bucket. She hasn't thrown up, but she still likes to play out that drama from last time she was sick. It makes her feel better to have the container nearby. When I told her she wasn't going to preschool today, she said "But I have to!" (what I always tell her when she doesn't want to go). So I explained it isn't polite to give other people our sick germs. She said, "Yeah, I might frow up on the fwoor..... I might frow up on evwybody..... I might frow up on the teachers..... And the parents!" "Yes," I said, "Wouldn't that be an awful mess!"

one last snow pic

2 more snow pics

the done list

Sigh. My back hurts. I tried to lie on the floor for 20 minutes today, which is the apparently right amount of time to allow the discs between one's vertebrae to plump back up. It was a long time. I got up at 19 minutes, felt better for a while.

Today the preschool opened 2 hours late. I got back just in time for a phone call about a presentation I'll be giving later this month. Then I paid bills, made a big long to-do list, called a friend, and went out. I treated myself to a salad at Chili's, then spent $$$ at Office Depot on thick cotton "resume paper", printer ink, a day-timer, a folio (?) to take to job interviews (leather-like stiff folder with legal pad on one side), and a couple other small things. Then I went to Wal-Mart for groceries.

At home I read a magazine for a few minutes, then pushed myself to make a crock pot recipe. I didn't feel like cooking, but I knew if I didn't do it tonight, all the things I bought would end up going to waste. It turned out pretty good, a chicken & stuffing casserole. Not as good as it sounded though.

E was really nice to me tonight. No fussing, except she yelled at Kaylee not to eat her baby rag. She told me she was in time out twice today. She said one time was for messing up toys and the other was for running. She even demonstrated. After her dinner we watched ballet videos and talked about dance class. She's eager to learn more now, seems to have crossed some shyness threshold. (fingers crossed)

E also said she misses her Daddy and loves him. "That train trip is a long time!"

snow pics

lazy day

This was a relatively good day. The weather was NASTY (cold and wet), so E and I didn't go anywhere, didn't even open the door. (David's on his train trip.) It's icing a little now, and snow or ice is predicted overnight. I needed a lazy day, and I think E did too. I know she's been watching too much tv (videos) lately because I've just needed to get things done and to vegetate. Otherwise she can't stand to play by herself when I'm around. But we watch some of it together, and we talk about it all. This morning we watched Wizard of Oz for an hour (I luxuriously read a whole magazine at the same time), played with play-doh for an hour, danced a bit in the kitchen, and didn't do much after that. She is surprisingly happy to just sit and pick fuzz. When I said I wouldn't play with her til she brushed her teeth, she climbed into her crib with a sticker book and stayed there happily by herself for almost an hour. This afternoon I got to have a semi-nap on the couch while she watched another video.

E spent yesterday with Victor just about all day, and he's now sick. She seems okay so far but we all know it's coming - can't avoid it with all this stress. We've both been cranky by 4 pm all this week, definitely feeling the big life change for Mommy.

It's been a busy week. E still goes to preschool Tuesdays and Thursdays and I'm going to use the other sitter as needed. I packed up all my things from the office yesterday. I'm doing some networking and informational interviews last week and this week. I'm hoping to do more writing with all this free time, but this past week I spent it all with friends and family, which is how I cope.

One thing I've managed to learn in my 40 some years is how quiet and subtle stress can be. I used to think it was the same thing as worrying. But you can feel terrible stress without noticing a single worrying thought! My back and neck are aching, and I'm just exhausted. I have a short fuse with 3 year olds in particular. Yet I feel very loved and positive about my future. Interesting.

Well, it sounds like E fell right asleep again at 7. I'm not far behind.

new words

Friday E was playing with her balloons and said, "I need to get my steppengingis." Turned out that meant our hot pink yardstick, with which she proceeded to spank the balloons.

Also on Friday, at lunch when we were debriefing dance class, and exchanged our "I'm proud of you" lines (see previous post) a couple times, E said, "Mommy, let's play a prouding game." Turns out, the prouding game is simply taking turns saying we're proud of each other and hugging.